First, let me say this effort at forgiveness probably is energized by HOPE -- but it isn't dependent on this HOPE panning out, because we've been here before. Forgiveness is a process. Generally, my attitude is that we don't do "bad" or "harmful" things if we really understand that they are "bad" or "harmful"--- and that's usually more than understanding somebody else doesn't like it. Some people when they see the Orchid website, facebook page, etc. are under the impression that there is a cast of thousands doing all this -- but it is really for the most part just me and I am doing it at great personal and financial sacrifice. Now one can say -- well Val -- that's your choice. AND it is my choice. BUT there's a HUGE crying NEED for this. So when I get jerked around by the STATE it HURTS. AND guess what? It HURTS even more when the powerless people I represent get jerked around by the STATE. BTW it makes me smile when I'm not holding back the tears when my guys and gals say, "Val, how can I help -- you need some help."