Mommy and Daddy Issues in Neuro-Diversity--- Recognizing Different Patterns

Conjecture

• One of the things that we tend to do over the course of a LIFETIME is recognize PATTERNS in RELATIONSHIPS.
• We also are sometimes/generally forced to recognize where those PATTERNS are NOT THE SAME.

 
I didn't grow up in a family with traditional sexual stereotypes ---

• My Parents  encouraged us to do what we wanted to do.
• Both my parents were neat freaks --- and my Dad especially ---
  • There was going to be ORDER IN THAT HOUSE--- he was very nice about it and he really didn't mind doing it himself --- BUT there was going to be ORDER IN THAT HOUSE.  

What I did grow up with and what I think most people grow up with is "INTELLIGENCE STEREOTYPES."

• "A Cluttered Desk is a Cluttered Mind" --- which was said with a SENSE of HUMOR and there weren't going to be any cluttered desks or kitchen tables if my Dad was around. 

I didn't just wake up one day and become CHRONICALLY DISORGANIZED --- it's been a pretty constant feature ---

• BUT because I did well in School
• And SCHOOL sometimes favors the STRENGTHS of GIRLS---
• It wasn't perceived to be a huge problem --- and I think my parents thought I would grow out of it.
• Unfortunately for me, I did so well in school that I picked a PROFESSION in which ORGANIZATION is a BIG COMPONENT.
  • So that takes a lot out of me.
    

For my generation --- it was so much about getting that EDUCATION and there was little thought about how all of this was going to work out into a COHERENT WHOLE.

• That's a lot less true today.
• If you got that EDUCATION --
  • It meant you were "SMART"
  • and it was going to work out.  
    

Jennifer Lopez
Ain't Your Mama

Helen Reddy --- "I Am Woman"  (1971)
(I was 8 years old in 1971)

I CANNOT DO ANYTHING or EVERYTHING.  If I try to do EVERYTHING --- I WILL BURNOUT and/or BREAKDOWN.

Further, because my SENSORY PROCESSING is SO RAMPED UP it takes me more time to PROCESS all that ---

• I think I generally get a better answer.
• But it is taking MORE TIME.

Additionally, especially when it comes to being a HETEROSEXUAL WOMAN with a FAMILY& NEURO-DIVERSE ---

• You can really be perceived as an ODDBALL.
• AND this Society is definitely NOT SET UP FOR YOU.

HOW THIS TURNED INTO A NIGHTMARE:

Both Sides Now

I think this does have a lot to do with RAMPED UP STRESS RESPONSES and why so many Neuro-Diverse people struggle in RELATIONSHIPS.

• Maybe Neuro-Typical people are struggling too and are Stressed BUT
• Thankfully have not reached that NEURO-DIVERSE STRESS THRESHOLD.