Long Term Relationships: The Philosopher and the Engineer [Alain de Botton and Paul with Asperger's from the Inside]

• Alain de Botton is a very engaging Swiss-born British Philosopher and Entrepreneur behind the "School of Life" and he mixes philosophy, history and a kind of therapy to bring "craziness" -- out of the closet and mainstream.
  

 

• Paul with "Asperger's from the Inside" is an Australian Engineer and coach on Emotional Intelligence and Long Term Relationships --- to show "the human side of autism."

Alain de Botton:  How Romanticism Destroyed Love

Botton combines a deep critique of ROMANTICISM with great faith in TEACHING with PESSIMISM.

The idea that ADULTERY was ever just a LEGAL ISSUE is pretty fanciful (Why do you think it is a LEGAL ISSUE?  There are still places in the world where the punishment for ADULTERY is quite severe).

This didn't just start in the middle of the 18th Century.  In other videos, Botton acknowledges that AVOIDING HUMAN JEALOUSY and EMOTIONAL & PRACTICAL CHAOS are 2 of the great pulls to MONOGAMY.

A big problem for Neuro-Diverse people is they have INTENSE EMOTIONS and MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIPS can put that on FULL DISPLAY.  (I'll tackle that next week).

I think Botton's off-handed comments on "EMPLOYMENT" --- need to be explored further in the NEURO-DIVERGENT CONTEXT.  If you have 2 people who are BRIGHT but not not particularly good "MANAGERS" ---- that is going to provide PROBLEMS to be SOLVED (see Paul).

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Fostering Creativity By Uncovering Different Perspectives

I do think Relationships are a lot about learning about ourselves and our partners--- Botton's concept of "TEACHING" in relationships as expressed in other videos I think needs to be modified with the insights of Paul below.

For Neuro-Divergent People --- many of whom found out the HARD WAY that they were NEURO-DIVERGENT through a BURNOUT(s) and or BREAKDOWN ---- you are keenly aware of your ignorance and the society's.

Ironically, Botton may ultimately understand that SOCIETAL IGNORANCE because he understands the importance of HISTORY --- and what we lack in knowledge for one age is not necessarily true for another. 

Paul with Asperger's from the Inside

3 Tips for Neurodivergent Marriages --- (Is Your Partner Autistic? ADHD? Neurotypical?!?)

• Solve Problems Soon
• Set Your Partner Up for Success
• Focus on What You Can Control (Put Your Own Oxygen Mask on First)